Accu-weather

 Dressed for a rain storm on an uncharacteristically sunny day and waddling out to the curb to grab the newspaper and the rubber of my rain boots emits small squeals with every change in foot position and I’m waving at my neighbor who is sitting out front with the accoutrements of a seasoned veteran in the art of tanning lowers her glasses and asks if I’m expecting rain and I smile and tell her not what you’re thinking but yes and she gives me one of those benign head shakes like I’m not supposed to see it but of course I see it because I have the vision of a bird of prey and I’m considering my option to say something but instead I just adjust my rain bonnet and make sure that my other rain gear is still fastened appropriately and nod at her to wish her and her disdain a pleasant day and each step is now a louder squeal I’m not one to show doubt in the face of opposition a war time general stands resolute and grim faced even as their soldiers are chopped apart by the surprise pincer force of a greater foe no we are men and women of some kind of action and that action was preordained long ago and then I hear a crack of Thunder like a deep bellow from a large bear and it begins to rain and as the tabbies and pit bulls fall from the sky and smash through the neighborhood’s houses we’ve spent so much time taking for granted and as my neighbor abandons her temple of the perfect skin tone and runs as a black cat with claws exposed lands next to her and immediately shrieks a warning to get the hell away from it and the houses all around us start to show cracks and holes and fill with the sounds of cats and dogs I’ll nod to myself and think that even I didn’t see this one coming while I side step a Beagle landing directly to my right it begins to yowl as only a beagle can and I look at it sympathetically “me too buddy me too”