Day 1 of Napowrimo challenges us to write in verses of Tanka. I do not adhere strictly to the meter of haiku/tanka/senryu but the form is still honored.
I.
these good winds
spin dead leaves in the yard
into the sun's path
a carousel
of broken things
II.
today, some rain
let dirt become mud
and fed the flowers
more than their fill. they lurch,
leaning over, in surrender.
III.
the snow died
in spring's esteemed glance
left its memory
in my basement's floor, covered
remembered, through damp and mold
IV.
humid tappings
on these sweating skulls
another scorcher
outside is a sauna
inside, an oasis.
Leonard, there’s a strong sense of daily observation running through these, which suits the NaPoWriMo approach. Your third stanza stood out to me: the shift from the snow to the damp memory in the basement gives it real weight and consequence.
ReplyDeleteI'll be interested to see where you take us over the coming month.
Agree with Dennis, the third stanza stands out for me too.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your tanka series, Leonard, the classical feel to them – the first is quite Shakespearean - and the way you evoke different types of weather. I especially love the dead leaves as ‘a carousel of broken things’ and the flowers that ‘lurch, leaning over, in surrender’.
ReplyDelete