Saturday, September 28, 2024

I heard that 311 song playing and this happened

A little levity, I suppose.


"Rainstorm, take me away from the norm
Wooaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I got to tell you something..."

I suppose you do. Words meant for me
Have a way of arriving in my brain.
Yours are no exception. You still left
It unsaid
Resolving on a chord and changing
The record over to some new song
With rap and rock fused together
A display of 
Machismo
For the masses

I am a wounded bird
Waiting for your message
I know it already
So what do you have to 
Say for yourself?

Will the rain come
To bail you out again?
I’m sure you’re hopeful.

"And it goes like this"

Saturday, September 21, 2024

Airing Out the Feeling vol 3

 once more, a solara-free saturday. there is definitely more coming, i promise.


No path, like this one, the one necessary 

for some kind of rest. Slippage and breakage
Tender thy farthings. I am a bucket of impatience
Punctured nerve endings, like shell shock

Immune to the siren song of deeper breaths

Patience


Grow out from me, solid oak exhaustion

Shake this in a broken cup. Clink and a clack

I am so much of the noise ratio. A pillar

of vibrant waves of sound. Glimpse
these stress responses in glances

Never head on.


Corner dwelling, hands over eyes,

active terror response, having been
seen at last.


Grow out from me, shrieking,
Pink cloud of impulse control
Let it grow
Forward

Blot out an agreeable starry night


Hands and hissing, 

Reject Light


Remain in cover

Of shadow and another

Darkened room.


Double plus blackout.


Grow out from me, empty

Glass bowl.

Let them see what you’ve been

Feeling, Leonard. Let them know

What is willing and what is being

Dragged by the scruff, nails and
Loud repudiations trailing behind.


Let it be left behind.

A monument to what it isn’t

or even what exactly it is.

Just so.

Like that. And let it stay

behind.


Saturday, September 14, 2024

giving and taken

 another Solara break, probably will just post it on a different day. I've been stepping out from the AI and doing more daily writing of my own. Some of them have been rather fun, so here's a recent one.

giving/what it is giving/some lore/some sense of outrage/boils up through me/giving/what in terms of the gift is the gift and what is the curse/lingering air collecting in pockets of lung/pockets meant to be filled/

less given/more to give/these are the words/pushed forth in some air/foolish love of my life/feel it/

giving/once again/
so much to be taken/
lessons in the abstract/made terrestrial/made with permanent marker on a wall that has been painted over/each time/a new coat/

giving/all of the given/lined up in infinite rows/lines reaching to the very back/giving the sense of eternity/a bad name/

this one/that one/too/lest i work to make you forget/what will be given to me/given to you/this is mine to give/mine alone/take it/foolish–love/i must insist/made for you/


Saturday, September 7, 2024

Solara 51-65

 15 more for your general enjoyment/perusal.


LI

I’ve never been more accomplished, in my statement/this mess/I have reaped what I have sown/culled from the aging crops/taken what can be saved/left the rest for the locusts/what you see/now/is the after-image/the negative of the actual photo/left to the stillness/I am pensive in my victory/my eyes do not waver/never off of the horizon/this one is for me/for me/alone/let me bask in it/



LII
seen/
A vision/of
failure/of
time’s victory/of
another reminder/of
god’s laughter/of
mild songs of lament/of
sweet, sonorous silence/of
the aftermath of something/seen/
as nothing/ 


LIII
Again, artist behind the art/in plain sight/with their forebears/visual ancestors/ascetic comrades/becoming one/with/creation/an uncertain unification/right in front of us/behind our own frame/in the home of another onlooker’s onlooker/visions of an eternal vigil/uninterrupted through the eons/left to their own musings/look on/ 

LIV
You’ve already been able to know me, so well. I’ll drop the act and let the spectacle take me in it’s loving arms. Unbend the knee/oh how the old habits/die hard/. I am fighting to remain present./in this/very moment/you witness the true, /miracle/ I will be made /manifest/a glorious manifestation. My, how the stares of your peers, in horror, mollify and make you happy. how/appalling. How interesting.

LV
What longing? Watching the Sun crash into the Earth again.
These dreams. The projector has 
one film. I can’t look away either.
Looking on /helpless/
like the child when mom and dad
dis/agree/ and there’s nowhere to look
except right into the blaze/knowledge being
what/ever/ it is this time. Some talisman, some
chain. Rooted to the spot. This operation is /already/
a disappointment and a realization. /Both/.


LVI
My life has become just another
/imitation/ of some surrealist painter’s
portfolio where I say shocking things
and make still more shocking pictures
in shocking mediums and no one has much
to say but applaud /with gusto/ and /I guess/ 
there’s not much else to do but put the brush
into my solar plexus until it enters my body
and I can finally try painting my /soul/.

LVII
Oh god, I didn’t mean it like that. Please
take it away and let it out to the pasture.
/you know what I mean by that/let’s not mince
words /or meat/. Sometimes the reality sets in
and I am filled with buyer’s remorse, at another
Loss. What I’ve commissioned /”what have we done?”/
You know the answer, /so do I/. Let it sink in and do the Lord’s 
work to each of us.

LVIII
The great plains sing like they are America. The creatures harmonize behind the plains. I am unmoved because I am already America. All of me/is reaching for something pastoral. Something from a place I have no /access/ to anymore. Some part of us long forgotten//. I asked for this, didn’t I? 

LIX
A view. A sky. Rocks and trees and overgrowth. Clouds of undetermined menace. I was promised spectacle. I was promised miracles. Here I stand, where I’ve been my whole life. Counting clouds. Waiting for the universe to lift its gaze from the cosmos and pull me up with it to a fate deserved.

LX
Good ol’ respite in the end of a good ol’ bad day. Darn tootin’ and damn skippy and what have us. Not a whole lot to it when the sun winds down and the moon winds up, and I ain’t plum foolin’ myself otherwise. No sequence to interrupt, just the comings and goings of the world and its mischiefs. Me and mine and you and yours, just witnessing the whole spinning mess of a thing, aren’t we? Might as well /crack/ open the suds and /get to it.//

LXI
Dream this /world/-World dreams me/Left within confines of a broken, overflowing circle. Slipping from the margins, undoing and cooking myself-in symmetrical /burnings,/ patterns. Longings escaping from their cages/given to their movements, /baser/ instincts. Willing to be lost. Willing to compromise the whole structure-ruin the enterprise. My world rolls over in its /sleep/the alarm rings and /know it/ now. All of it.

LXII
still floating, even when the pieces are coming /undone/. stands still at an edge: staring at /the bottom-/-, absorbed by the distance, echoes and shrieks, modulated-pitched /down///remains affixed /to the point assigned___to the silent window to the/whistles coming back from an .abyss. left to its own amusements___gasp at the appropriate interval. any day .now/. 

LXIII
-alight with clouds/tear it down-gripping the seat’s headrest. old visions of nightmares/combustibles set, in the foreground, the flame/ approaches. never/ letting
it out of our :sight: not blinking/as the rains arrive/as the window fogs/as the mind is left to 
its own devices. we envision a future from what little we have acquired along the way.

LXIV
-you couldn’t /imagine/-even if you/desired it/what will be left behind/and what will be made of it/when we go,[and we’ve already gone, mate], we’ll be/unable/to set the agenda/any longer/. feel my heart’s ache at the /loss of/ agency. you’ll know it in the space where blood pools and leaves, though it’s not something we’d call a heart [not on you, mate…never that]. you’ll know something similar, something like a feeling/right?/

LXV
The fireflies came together to perform a collaborative picture series. We all held hands and smiled. Life was perfect again. Finally/right/. Showing the audience the truth of our priorities. Always/coming back to the heart. A pleasant reminder. We /only/ need love. They seemed to shout. Then they started trying to sell us a timeshare. /we were drawing our/own/conclusions.-all /along/-/


Sunday, September 1, 2024

Solara 36-50

 In honor of organized labor's contributions and the federal holiday, here's more Solara.

XXXVI

give me that/old time, sweetness/give me that/yesterday’s concern/give me that/my reverie in sepia/give me that/four corners of my dusty, childhood home-a visit like it’s still the same/like nothing changed/give me that/hope that doesn’t ebb away with the erosion of the time stream/give me that/time back that I’ve been missing-where it’s kept/that sealed off room/untouched by light/airtight/take me there/take me to what I’ve been missing/


XXXVII
another night watch/another night where the air isn’t even moving/trees hang-dog/just waiting/water at a stand still/mosquito baby making music/conditions are perfect/placid/in reverie/waiting for the door to open/for a light to turn on/for a sign of life/we’ve waited long enough/me/you/the amorous bugs/none of us doing anything with any feeling/not anymore/but we’ll wait out here/all night if we have to/just me and the void/nothing to it/nothing else to be done about it/no, sir/

XXXVIII
given the circumstances/the way the evening has taken shape/dusk turning to absolute menace/even the trees are snarling/fog rolled in and rang like a school bell tone/operational inadequacy/all the lights become a torch/become a tongue of fire/nobody is speaking any longer, so they wait/settling in/unused/rusty/given these circumstances/one might consider the evening walk postponed/

XXXIX
behold, Excalibur/resting in this broken asphalt/left to wonder near the uneven street/torn by years of misuse/next to the old, older warehouses long since scavenged for copper/long since forgotten in the office christmas card rush/behold, the sword of Damocles/splitting wood in an urbane home three blocks north/long since forgetting where it comes from/its roots/in the cement of our early days/the wrong tool for the right job/always/

XL
if it’s skate or die, I know which one I’m choosing/bury me in under that half pipe though/I want to hear those clanking wheels in heaven/doing spins and the shouts of failure/excitement/let the scrapes and blood mingle with my body’s memory/let the rodents say a few kind words/I’ve been worthy of their dignity/you can’t imagine the fun that is to be had/not here/not now/not ever/but you’ll try just the same/fixing your deck and your trucks/changing the wheels out in my memory/the future passed me by, brother/

XLI
we’re approaching a place where physics are losing meaning/shapes bend and warp and distort and melt and expand and balloon and twist and collect and fracture and reform and combust and germinate and implicate and extricate and coagulate and we are all watching/stunned/silent in the beauty of the moment’s changing/ 

XLII
what I wouldn’t give/to you/to see the way the the light glints off your shadow/as you depart/in the majesty of this clear summer day’s gradual descent to a quiet evening/I’ve never loved so easily/never been awash in splendor like this before/you/you could be/just another satellite/marching towards the distance/a place to note my location/remaining/at rest

XLIII
Some two bit painter/an eye on less than blatant forgery/took a google image and put it next to his easel/inspiration, he said/it was true/the picture was indeed inspiring/down to the palette of colors/the shift of the subject/the day becoming night/I suppose/imitation is a game/imitation is easily confused with inspiration/and the crowd reacted accordingly/applauding in a crude imitation of the one who stood first/effusive/bold/thunderous claps of the hand becoming a storm/

XLIV
one day/god will assert himself from the wordless void/perhaps as a large hand/maybe a single leg with a wide open eye/communicating through blinking/blinking the masses to an understanding of a beautiful truth/maybe, he will also be a great tap dancer, though it would be more like artful dancing/one day/we’ll all know the truth about existence/and the majesty of song/and see the way we die in an unblinking eye, clouding over with the sadness of another memory in an infinite well/ 

XLV
this high wire horror show/at work/something haunting/something unnatural/moving with a grace unfitting/the stakes being what they are/must-see entertainment/we look away in performative disgust/instinct/moving on instinct/life and the turns it takes/each a pirouette and an axle/the stakes being what they must/another spectacle/another shake of my head/another denial of my own hideousness/look at be cleansed/ 

XLVI
you knew it/you knew it/you knew it/then you did it/anyway/let the consequences of your action filter upstream/into the tributaries and the overflow basin/you should have done better/you should have done better/you should have done better/instead we’re left with this/strong sense of disaster/cleaning up the mess you’ve made for the rest of us/while you just sit there/watching with those hollow eyes of yours/blank expression/thank you for this/sincerely/

XLVII
We’ll put this on a shirt/print it everywhere/it’ll catch like a match to dead forest/practically sells itself/practically, but with a little help from the internet/from the wild/from the former and the latter/people will see it and think of a great peace/others will see the calamity and know it as their own/others still will just think it will look radical if they wear it on a hooded sweatshirt they overpaid for/there’s levels/and there’s levels/and this is just one of said levels/we’ll be up to our nose hairs in money/swimming pools filled with it/God/I am so ready/

XLVIII
Noble majesty/come back to me/in visions of steam/in the mist of a morning/fresh and aware of the cooler breezes/lost among the dew/trampled over kindling/the life cycle of these whispering woods/at last/a champion worth our waiting/lumbers forth/in a pairing with another/just as willing/equal in each way/let the steam drift right off of them as their forms come into/focus/patient/even gazes/a sentry/another safeguard/returning to stand watch over something sacred/

XLIX
I’ll be direct/the future terrifies me/the changes morphing into new trends/language augmenting itself/modern art in general/fashion, oh fashion: recycled or otherworldly/world I know molting/who knows what will wait for me/for you too/as the sun becomes something it was not meant to become/as the rest of us drink even more expensive and alarming caffeinated beverages/snack on freeze dried delicacy/dressed like astronauts, maybe/I’m shaken at the very idea/

L
dressed up/for another performance/one woman show/avant garde diner/another vision of a future society deserves/less imagination than previously expected/all flash/substance in a vacuum/substance as a commodity/unblinking/unafraid/the world comes undone/remade/in clean ribbons/shredded and left to the wind/behind a still-life form/bowing at the conclusion of another performance/